How To Exercise Control To Win More Negotiations

What form of control do you exercise in your negotiations? What is control in a negotiation, how does one go about getting and maintaining control, and when is it beneficial to relinquish control in a negotiation? During a negotiation to what degree does it behoove you to exercise aspects of control? The factors detailing such can be daunting. Since they have such a profound impact on the flow and outcome of a negotiation, it behooves you to understand the variances in order win more negotiations.

This article addresses those questions and details how to increase your negotiation win rate.

Negotiation Tip: Like most aspects in life, control is perceptional. That’s to say, if you think you have it, you do. Of course the person with whom you’re negotiating with has a lot to say about the amount of control you do or do not have in a negotiation, but still, it’s perceptional.

Exercising Control in a Negotiation:

Exercising control in a negotiation is the fine balance of knowing when to lead, when to be led, and when to maintain a steadfast position. It also entails controlling your emotions and those of the other negotiator.

Getting Control in a Negotiation:

In reality, the only way you can get control in a negotiation is by having the other negotiator follow your lead. The stimuli used to do so can be from several perspectives. You can cajole, be stern, be condescending, be conciliatory and/or employ a number of other strategies. The one you employ is dependent on the type of negotiator she is (hard nose, easy going, soft), but you need to match your style to one that’s suited to her demeanor, based on what’s being negotiated for at the time. By using the appropriate approach, you enhance your abilities to control the negotiation.

Maintaining Control of a Negotiation:

Maintaining control during a negotiation entails the fine balance of leading and giving the impression of being led. You give the impression of leading when you express offers as being beneficial to the other negotiator’s needs for the negotiation. You give the impression of being led by adopting a position of accepting her offer/perspective, etc. In either case, make sure those goals are also aligned with yours, less you’re not really exercising control at all.

Relinquishing Control in a Negotiation:

Giving the appearance of relinquishing control promotes the perception of being controlled by the other negotiator. By doing so, you endear yourself to her. She feels empowered, because she’s taking the lead, which means she’s in control. During such times allow your body language to be in alignment with the persona you project (e.g. softer tone of voice, open body gestures, smaller physical appearance, etc.). If your words and body language are aligned, your relinquishing of control will be more believable and accepted as such, even more so at a subliminal level by her, which gives you an additional advantage.

As you can see, the perception and exercise of control during a negotiation has a great impact on the flow and outcome of the negotiation. In your next negotiation, adopt the points mentioned above and observe its flow. In particular take note of how exercising the different forms of control influences the outcome of the negotiation. Continue to improve on your ability to exercise control by focusing on the aspects of control in your negotiations. As you get better at implementing the facets of control, your negotiation win rate will increase… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Tips for Making a High-Impact, Money-Saving Presentation Booklet

Your boss asks you to present your company’s services to a prestigious potential client. You’re speaking at a seminar for professionals in your industry. You’re introducing your project to the board of directors for approval. Whatever the scenario, many of us will have to present our knowledge to others in a business setting at some point.

Whether you’re presenting to a group of colleagues or to clients, you want to deliver your information effectively.

Creating a professional presentation booklet can help you organize your message and keep your audience’s attention. They can peruse a read-along booklet during your presentation, then take the booklet with them to reinforce your message. Or you can add extra information in a presentation booklet so they’ll continue reading after you’ve sparked their interest in the topic.

Here are some suggestions for an effective and professional presentation booklet:

- Make your booklet a hard copy of the PowerPoint you’ll be projecting

- Give them an overview of your company or the background of your presentation

- Leave space in the booklet so your audience can write thoughts or take notes during your presentation, if appropriate

- Focus your booklet on statistics and facts related to your presentation

- Be sure to leave contact information or action you want them to take at the end of the presentation booklet

Now that you have ideas for what to put in your presentation booklet, there are several ways to actually make one:

You can take your information to a local printing company or printing website and have them create the booklet for you. This can quickly become expensive, depending on the size and quality of your presentation booklet. Color print, paper type, and binding type are some of the variables that will affect the price.

If you (or your company) are planning to create a presentation booklet more than once, it may be more economical to get the materials to make it yourself. You may already own or have access to a higher quality printer.

You will need to purchase a binding machine (a largish purchase), and the supplies for the booklet (paper and covers, nominal purchases). After these initial costs, you will enjoy the convenience and relatively low expense of producing your own presentation booklets.

Another benefit to creating your own presentation booklets is quality. Many printing companies allow for defects in your order. And if they don’t get it right the first time, it may be too late by the time you receive the remake. When you create your own presentations, you get to decide what the final product is, and you’ll be able to produce them as quickly as you like.

I’d recommend using the Unibind XU138. The great thing about a Unibind system is that you can quickly and easily create professional looking hard or soft cover books. You can also reuse the binding and add or remove pages from your booklet if you need to change the content.

Warning: a poor quality presentation booklet won’t help your presentation – it will draw attention away from your message! Demand the highest quality from your printer, or do it yourself to ensure that it’s done right.

Finding Divine Gifts – Coming Fully Into the Present Moment

The divine is always with us and always waiting for US to recognize and welcome its presence. That is its gift to us. However, to receive this gift, we must be in the present. An important aspect for being fully in the present moment is “Completing Incompletions.” An incompletion is simply that – something that is not complete. It could be anything: unpaid bills; anger or resentment toward someone or thing; projects around the house; something you said you would do but then never did, etc.

Something in our lives that is not complete holds a portion of our energy until it is complete. At some level we are thinking about it, worrying about it, trying to figure out what to do about it. Even if you think you’ve forgotten about it and let it go, you haven’t. This is the body’s natural tendency toward integrity, toward being complete and free.

To the extent we have incompletions in our life we are being robbed of vital life force energy, energy we could be using to create an extremely fulfilling life. Incompletions also block us from receiving clear guidance from our higher selves. We’ve got part of ourselves holding the energy of these incompletions and therefore we cannot pay full attention to the divine messages trying to get through. Actually, the message that is trying to get through is “complete your incompletions.” That’s why we keep thinking and worrying about them.

When it comes to completing incompletions in relationships (whether with a mother, father, sibling, spouse, friend, or co-worker) a big part is forgiveness – forgiveness both for ourselves and others. Interestingly, forgiveness means to “give as before,” no longer withholding or holding back. (Side note: we all think forgiveness is a great thing, and I agree, however, have you ever noticed that forgiveness has judgment built into it? If you feel you must forgive someone, you have passed judgment on them that what they have done is bad, wrong, and should not have happened. Now who’s the bad guy? Interesting, yes?)

There are a couple of good metaphors that can help us better understand the importance of truly letting go of the supposed “wrongs” we believe another person has done to us. Being angry with, spiteful toward, or withholding from another person is like holding a hot coal in your own hand with the idea that you are going to throw it at them – but you never do. It just burns and burns YOU. Or, said another way, it’s like drinking poison expecting the other person to die. In these examples you can see it makes no sense. All you have to do is drop the hot coal and don’t take the poison.

Incompletions in relationships are some of the most detrimental and life-sucking ones we can experience. However, all the incompletions in our life, from the $10 you may still owe someone, to the book you borrowed and have yet to return, to the projects around the house you keep putting off. They all drain you each and every moment. For truly free and energized living you must complete these incompletions. Identifying and completing your incompletions is a key piece of my coaching system. You can experience the freedom accomplishing this can provide in your life.

Try this:

Look into all the areas of your life. What is obviously incomplete? Make a list of those things. Just making the list and getting these things out of your head and onto paper will restore some energy for you. Then look at the list and select one or two things to complete. Start with a couple of easy ones so you can build momentum, and then work up to the more challenging incompletions. As you complete things, one by one, cross them off the list with a big smile on your face, then take on the next one that feels right – until you’ve crossed them all off the list.

Notice the amazing energy restored at each step along the way, and the exponentially rising access to major good mojo!