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What form of control do you exercise in your negotiations? What is control in a negotiation, how does one go about getting and maintaining control, and when is it beneficial to relinquish control in a negotiation? During a negotiation to what degree does it behoove you to exercise aspects of control? The factors detailing such can be daunting. Since they have such a profound impact on the flow and outcome of a negotiation, it behooves you to understand the variances in order win more negotiations.

This article addresses those questions and details how to increase your negotiation win rate.

Negotiation Tip: Like most aspects in life, control is perceptional. That’s to say, if you think you have it, you do. Of course the person with whom you’re negotiating with has a lot to say about the amount of control you do or do not have in a negotiation, but still, it’s perceptional.

Exercising Control in a Negotiation:

Exercising control in a negotiation is the fine balance of knowing when to lead, when to be led, and when to maintain a steadfast position. It also entails controlling your emotions and those of the other negotiator.

Getting Control in a Negotiation:

In reality, the only way you can get control in a negotiation is by having the other negotiator follow your lead. The stimuli used to do so can be from several perspectives. You can cajole, be stern, be condescending, be conciliatory and/or employ a number of other strategies. The one you employ is dependent on the type of negotiator she is (hard nose, easy going, soft), but you need to match your style to one that’s suited to her demeanor, based on what’s being negotiated for at the time. By using the appropriate approach, you enhance your abilities to control the negotiation.

Maintaining Control of a Negotiation:

Maintaining control during a negotiation entails the fine balance of leading and giving the impression of being led. You give the impression of leading when you express offers as being beneficial to the other negotiator’s needs for the negotiation. You give the impression of being led by adopting a position of accepting her offer/perspective, etc. In either case, make sure those goals are also aligned with yours, less you’re not really exercising control at all.

Relinquishing Control in a Negotiation:

Giving the appearance of relinquishing control promotes the perception of being controlled by the other negotiator. By doing so, you endear yourself to her. She feels empowered, because she’s taking the lead, which means she’s in control. During such times allow your body language to be in alignment with the persona you project (e.g. softer tone of voice, open body gestures, smaller physical appearance, etc.). If your words and body language are aligned, your relinquishing of control will be more believable and accepted as such, even more so at a subliminal level by her, which gives you an additional advantage.

As you can see, the perception and exercise of control during a negotiation has a great impact on the flow and outcome of the negotiation. In your next negotiation, adopt the points mentioned above and observe its flow. In particular take note of how exercising the different forms of control influences the outcome of the negotiation. Continue to improve on your ability to exercise control by focusing on the aspects of control in your negotiations. As you get better at implementing the facets of control, your negotiation win rate will increase… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

O.K. you’re patting yourself on the back for all of the homework you’ve done on your perspective car that you are going to buy… so you’re fired up and ready to go… right?

It’s great that you’ve done much homework on the car that you’ve got your eye on… good job. But, consider this – have you given any thought at all as to what your negotiating game plan is going to be? If you really want to maximize your car deal, it only makes sense to give this area some additional consideration.

Negotiating is skill that can be learned and gets better with practice. Throughout everyone’s life – first as children then as parents – negotiation occurs rather regularly. Now that you’re looking at stepping onto a car dealership, you shouldn’t suddenly feel as though you’ve never been involved in negotiations… I’ll bet that you have.

First and foremost, plan to succeed. Simple thought I know, but it is part of the preparation. If you go into the process thinking that you would really like to get the selling price down to a certain figure, but at the same time you’re telling yourself that this probably won’t happen… then guess what… it won’t. You won’t have the confidence, and the sales person or sales manager will get work on your shaky expectations and get you off your target price.

Be mindful of the other hand though. If you go into the car selling price negotiating process like the proverbial ‘bull in a china shop’ you’ll probably trip the sales person’s and the sales manager’s hot button and they will push back just as vigorously creating a negotiating chasm.

The key as a polished negotiator is to stay calm and pleasant and present win-win scenarios.

Secondly – Be prepared. Don’t go into any type of transaction such as buying a car unprepared. Don’t just know about the car and what you want your car to come with – know what each of these options cost… don’t guess or assume… There is profit to be negotiated upon across the board at any given dealership. Knowledge is confidence, and sales people will pick up on the fact that you know of which you talk and this will significantly cut down on the sales b.s.

Next – Leave yourself wiggle room inside your cocoon of happiness target. In other words never start with the price you want to pay. Remember, by definition here we are negotiating with another person… if you start with the price you want to pay; you’ll have no choice but to negotiate your way up and out of it. So, if you’re will to spend say $15,000 then start at $14,000 and work to create a win-win somewhere in between. And, oh by the way… no one in the dealership other than you has or will have NO IDEA of what you’re willing to pay.

Here’s a bonus tip – if the sales person kicks off the negotiations with the first offer, don’t counter with a number… that’s right no counter number… instead counter back with a pleasant … “I’m afraid that’s somewhat beyond my budget” … make them come back with another offer to get you in the game. Now you just gotten a newer offer and you haven’t even jumped in yet. The first offer from the dealer is usually their ‘home run’ swing… they don’t really expect you to serve yourself up at this point (although some do… and hence the home run in profit).

Keep in that this is not a one way street. You’ll have to participate and make some concessions in order for your deal to be a winner. For instance, if you can’t get to the selling price you want then get more for your trade, get an extended warranty at dealer cost, get some no cost service or oil changes, floor mats, … anything that keeps the deal moving forward and the negotiations open… don’t get hung up on ‘beating you opponent’ over just one aspect of the deal.

This is where many people get frustrated and either walk away after getting so close or just give in as a result of the frustration. Negotiating a car deal is a package not just a selling price. Sure the selling price is the focal point, but you have to give the appearance that you are offering some concession as well. In fact, as your target price get within range, don’t just agree on the price and then begin the delivery process. If you do… you will be in a much weaker position to negotiate any extras you may want such as that extended warranty… you see… make sure all potential aspects of the deal are in place before you shake hands on the price.

Too much to do? No time to do it? You’re not alone.

Participants are often overloaded, overworked, and preoccupied. They are often distracted by urgent business issues, family matters, sick pets, or other pulls on their attention.

As a presenter, it’s up to you to focus their attention. By giving clear directions, you can focus attention. Learn how to build a message that is easy for people to remember.

This is not rocket science. Instead, it’s a repeatable formula you can use whenever you want to focus attention. Create a strong message and pack a punch. Help participants remember your message, decide to take action, and know what action to take.

Use these 3 tips so you can focus attention and get results. This is absolutely critical if you are serious about winning results.

Here’s how to give clear directions to your audience, so they know exactly what step to take next.

Tip 1: Decide On A Single Action

It’s up to you. Focus on a single action you want your audience to take. Don’t mush things up by giving three or ten possible actions. It will only confuse your audience.

Decide on one action. If you have two, twelve, or twenty — no one will know what to do.

Recently I coached a brilliant and experienced senior sales director. He was confused between two actions for his presentation. One was organizational: a strategic initiative to increase sales. The other targeted sales bonuses and commissions.

Guess which one I recommended for his single action?

The individual one of course! Focus on a single action that individuals are most willing to take. Everyone gets into gear when it’s personal. When you’re talking cash, people get moving.

Tip 2: State The Action In Simple Terms

It’s easy to understand and remember simple terms. When you state directions in simple terms, participants get it. And it’s easy for them to remember what to do.

Speak plain English. Avoid speaking in corporate speak.

Hint: Take a look at your presentation. Ask yourself one question. “Could I say this with a shorter word?”

If you can, do it. If you aren’t sure, ask a friend. Best shot is to ask someone who doesn’t work with you. It’s just too easy to get used to using inside lingo — and not realize you’re doing this.

Tip 3: Use Active Language

Active words ignite action. Passive words encourage contemplation.

You want your audience to jump into action. Your goal is to create an active environment focused on results.

Now is the time for active verbs, active terms, and dynamic language.

Clients often tell me their concerns and objections about giving simple directions to inspire action. These usually run along the lines of:

•  Is this too simplistic?
•  Is this right for my highly educated audience?
•  Is this going to make me look dumb?

The answer is no. Speaking in active language is not ‘dumbing-down.’

When you give clear, focused directions, you are helping your audience. They instantly know what to do next. This is appropriate for audiences of every educational level.

Here’s what you can expect. It is going to make you look smart. Very, very smart. Especially when you ignite action and get measurable results.

Get results fast. It’s smart business to focus on a single action, use simple words and active language.